THE OMG SPAGHETTI BAKE

Git ready, this one’ll fight your kidneys, and win. I didn't photograph. We devoured it before that could happen. Okay. Start with pasta. A shitload. Not really, just about two cups. I mixed elbow macaroni, and farfalle. This was a good idea. Next. Boil pasta till it tastes like boiled pasta. While this is taking its sweet time, get yo preparation on. Pull out mom’s old glass pie pan, and reminisce on the good ol’ days. Alright, now get back to it. Pour maybe a tablespoon or two of olive oil into said pie pan; shaky shaky. Grab the nearest (possibly questionable) pasta sauce. Mine was Bertolli "spicy somethin’ or other." Pop the lid, and dump a generous amount into the dish, along with some capers (roughly four or five teaspoons, if you’re a caper fan; if not, get outta town, capers are delicious). Cheese. Now. Once again, the lack of a full fridge led me to the genius option of mixin’: chedda, mozza, and some parm-time. (Good idea #2.) Grate the crap outta that stuff, and depending on how heavy you want to feel after this meal, use accordingly. Apparently I wanted to feel real heavy... Use half for mixing with the sauce, and half for after the pasta. Now. Important step. Drain and add pasta. More sauce, duh. Mix it all up again. Remember when we talked about that cheese, “half for after the pasta” bit, well, here’s where that chimes in. Sprinklin’ cheese for days. Then some salt n’ peppa. Then some fried onions, just cause we got ‘em. Then some smoked paprika. That’s important, unless you want a less-than-awesome OMG SPAGHETTI BAKE, which you don’t. Then, remember that you forgot to preheat the oven to 400, and pick out pieces of pasta to snack on until the oven’s ready. Smooth it out, pretend it never happened, then toss the whole deal into the oven. “For, like” 15 minutes. At this point, realize that those fried onion pieces should probably have been added later on in the baking process, but embrace the extra smokey flavor, and call it a day.