Tuesday, December 7, 2010

He Listens to Jesus and The Mary Chain

Today, after violin lesson, I came home, and laid down on the couch. I sensed something soon, though, and raised my lids to see Vinyl (my ever-growing fat black cat) crouched straight in front of me, lying on my clean pillow.


"I have to wash this pillowcase now, Stupid!"

Stupid is the name I sometimes call him, when he makes poor life choices. He meows softly. I return my lids to their previous position. Open them, close them. He is confused. I know this. I continue in this manner, hoping he'll get up and leave, feeling my hatred. Instead, he simply hits me in the face with his, seemingly mittened, paw.


"Stupid!"

"Meow!"

Then we just lay there, staring. We stared for what seemed like hours, but really only about three minutes. Still, a long time for a cat and girl to stare hatefully at one another.


"I was here first," I say.

"Like I give a rat's ass," he says (in his cat mind).

I punch him in his cat face (in my human mind). Somehow he knows. His fat paw reaches out, and pauses, midair, threatening. I stare, hard. Eventually, he rests it on my shoulder. We're that close on the pillowcase. He looks at me with a face that says, "Let that be a lesson to you." So, in revenge, I sit here writing this to you, letting you see what evils lurk within his hateful body. He sits, a few centimeters away, reading over my shoulder (I hate that. He knows.).


"I probably won't feed you for a few days."

"Meow!"

"You eat too much anyways. You're fat."

"Take a look in the mirror lately?" He asks, suddenly speaking english, only to beat me down.

"I'm a growing girl," I say, stunned.

"Then, I'm a growing cat," he says, nonchalantly.

"At least I do yoga," I say.
He says something under his breath, chuckles softly, and continues reading. I hate him. Him and his cat breath can go to hell.


...
"You missed a comma," and blows a ring of cat breath in my eyes.

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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Panty Party!

About a week ago, I housesat for some friends of mine, Jess and Luke. Before leaving for their trip, Luke kept mentioning how nice it would be if he returned to a home filled with the "good vibes" left over from a panty party. I took his recommendation into some creative (yet realistic) thought, and planned on leaving panties strewn about the house, as well as a berry pie filled with some nudie dolls (displayed as having a party of their own). Sadly, my creative endeavors and my time slots for such things rarely go hand in hand. I was scheduled to work each day, and on the final day, I pulled into the driveway after work, only a few tire stretches before my friends. This left no time for the decorations, but I did find time, a few days later, to bake the pie. I present to you the Blackberry Apple Panty Party. I didn't try it, but it got great reviews from Jess and Luke, and I'm sure I'll be making it again in the future. It's a recipe from Martha Stewart, so you know it's gonna be tasty. If you're up for it, you can find it here. Although, if you're looking for some sexy ladies (and cat faces with sunglasses), in Martha's pie, you'll be sorely disappointed. Take that, Martha! [I didn't mean it! I love you!!!] Anyways, although it's far less elaborate than planned, this is my version; the better version (duh).
Note: Going to Michael's at 9:15 at night, and swiftly dodging the door guard, to buy one bag of nude mini barbie dolls (with severed legs), may label you as a creep.

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Tuesdays With Cecile

Every Tuesday, I babysit for two little girls, Cecile (age 4) and Cora (age 1). A few Tuesdays past, I surprised Cecile with a tea party, whilst her sister took her normal two-hour nap. Cecile and I shook the dust off of our "finest dresses" (mine, a little more dusty than hers), and made a go for it. In true fashion, we ate only the finest. I planned a menu which included: Quiche, Curried Pumpkin Soup, Cucumber Sandwiches, Raspberry Scones, Mascarpone Cream-Filled (and chocolate covered) Strawberries, and all sorts of desserts (bought at a local French bakery). We sipped Yorkshire tea, with cream and sugar, and filled our bellies a little too full. A little unorthodoxly, Cecile chose her desserts by plunging her little pinkies into each and every item, and remarking simply, "Good," or "No, no." At one point in the feast, nearing the end, we both looked at each other, and without a word, dropped our backs to the grass and stretched in the sun, trying to make more room for food; her giggling all the while. It was a sunny, and lovely, afternoon, and in typical 4-year-old fashion, Cecile made quite a display of her food and drink upon the sheet which we sat, saying hurriedly, "You can wash it!" after any and all spills. I can't believe that I get paid to have tea parties with this kid. Such a nice day.

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Monday, August 2, 2010

Eyes Wide Closed

"Another evening, as I'm returning to the lodge from Yavapai Point, an old spinster with a plate of ice cream in her hand remarks to her escort, a seedy-looking professor, as she licks the spoon: "Nothing so extraordinary about this, is there?" It was about seven in the evening and she was pointing to the canyon with her dripping spoon. Evidently the sunset hadn't come up to her expectations. It wasn't all flamy gold like an omelette dripping from Heaven. No, it was a quiet, reserved sunset, showing just a thin rim of fire over the far edge of the canyon. But if she had looked at the ground beneath her feet she might have observed that it was flushed with a beautiful lavender and old rose; and if she had raised her eyes to the topmost rim of rock which supports the thin layer of soil that forms the plateau she would have noticed that it was of a rare tint of black, a poetic tinge of black which could only be compared to a river or the wet trunk of a live oak or that most perfect highway which runs from Jacksonville to Pensacola under a sky filled with dramatic clouds."
- An Air-Conditioned Nightmare

I've been clearing my closet some, and yesterday, I came across my dusty book collection. This, being one of my favorite books of all time, easily persuaded me to leaf through it for a moment or two. Every time I open those pages, I rediscover some old favorite quote, shakily highlighted in my excitement. A quick shuffling of the worn sheets, creates a rainbow of highlighted words and cleverly put rants, by my favored author, and it makes me ever so happy that it's mine to keep. Die Kindle, die!!!

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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Oh so sweet

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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Good Mornin' Breakfast!

You're looking mighty fine on this sunny day!

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Cecile, Age 4

C- "Do you have a bladder?"
M- "Yes..."
C- "A big one or a small one?"
M- "I would say medium-sized."
C- "Oh! ...I have a sister!"

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Monday, June 14, 2010

Cookbooks

So, I'm nearing the end of my ridiculous econ course (wednesday!), and I'm planning some major baking ventures for the near future. I have eight new cookbooks to work with, as well as some enormous leaps and bounds in the magazine cookbook binders progress. So, yeah. I'm looking forward, immensely, to just having "baking days," where I rise early and spend my day listening to some good old Louis Armstrong, and baking my heart out. Pulling out the bread machine (we've probably used once in eighteen years) is a definite highlight of the future. Also: honey lavender ice cream. Delicious sounding, no? Come over. There'll be food....

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Garden Beginnings

The garden has been started! Harrah, harrah, hip-hip, harrah!

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Get Bakin'

So, I've been trying to bake a little here and there. I found a delectable looking tart in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine, and set to work. Here is a slight insight into the process. It ended pretty decently. The crust was delicious, and the custard wasn't half bad either. I decided to add a vanilla bean and seeds, for texture and taste, and I think it added a nice touch.

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He's a simple man.

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May the 4th be with you.

Happy Star Wars Day!

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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Funny Hah Hah

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Monday, April 5, 2010

Spokane!

Okay, now. This is a huge undertaking, I'll have you know. There's so much to show and tell, that I feel I'll be overwhelming this poor little blog, if I attempt to share it all. We'll do our best.
Spokane, Washington. In hopes of seeing my grandmother, Uncle, Aunt, and cousins, I threw out a suggestion that I might scamper up to Spokane during my spring break. Open arms all around. I flew through Phoenix, and on towards the greater part of Washington, ready to make pies and cookies, and to learn all about my family history. The trip was amazing. I was extremely sad to leave, but eager to tell the tales! The morning of the second day, my Aunt Judy took my grandmother and I to some estate sales, and I am happy to say that I swindled my first deal, down to fifty percent of the asking price. Sweet! I was also re-introduced to my one true love, tomato soup. Aunt Judy made a witches vat of it, the night I arrived, and it was so soothing and delicious that I scribbled down the recipe then and there. I'm eating some right now, to tell you the truth...The rest of the time there, is somewhat of a blur, but I know that I had a splendid time. I got a chance to meet my little second-cousin, Teresa, and to spend time with all of the people that I had, so many times seen photographs of, but had rarely seen in person. It was really nice.
I also got a chance to meet a really neat couple, whom I had previously chatted up on the great Couchsurfing.org. Hannah and Jonathan showed me all about town, pointing out little things, like where Johnny Depp had once sat, while shooting Benny and Joon, as well as interesting points in Spokanite history, such as the building of the largest cement bridge in Spokane (which we drove over, snapping a photo while "woohoo"-ing). We hit up a local ice cream shop (The Scoop), hiked through the mountains of records at Unified Records (which probably has the most underrated windowfronts in town), sauntered through Auntie's bookstore (Jonathan's Aunt and Uncle's establishment), slid down a Red Wagon slide and fed a goat some trash in Riverfront Park (where Mozart and the Whale filmed their first scene!), then hit up "Boo Radley's (where I found some postcards, and a few pins), and on towards a meal at The Elk (Jonathan and Hannah's treat!), and finally safely landing back at their place, where we simmered down with some "Calm" tea, played a semi-rousing game of Bananagrams (in which I was sorely, but happily, beat), and watched the best episode of Flight of the Conchords ($2.79 cup episode). We promised to keep in touch, and I've already written a letter; prepped and ready for take-off. This entire trip was accompanied by Wes Anderson soundtrack mixes. How did I happen to meet these two?! It was a day for the books.
The nicest part of this trip was being able to spend time with my grandmother, and to hear all of the stories of her childhood, and of my ancestors. It was a tough goodbye, as she grabbed my hand and said, "This is the LAST time you'll ever see me." I'll be back, though. She hasn't seen the last of me!
On the plane ride home, I met two amazing folks, named John and Shirley. They were so sweet, and we talked for a good portion of the two and a half hours of the flight. I left them with my information and ways to get in touch, and they hugged me and said I should visit them if ever I find myself in Canada. It's so nice to meet new people, and to instantly bond as we did. I know it sounds cheesy, but I think that was the real basis behind this trip. I knew who my grandmother was, and how much I loved her, but I didn't know who she had been, and what kind of a life she had led. All I knew was that she was an old granny who hated taking her daily dose of ginger. I am so very glad that this trip came to fruition, and that I was able to meet, and really get to know, every person that I did.

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Saturday, March 20, 2010

Two Photos Which Make Me Happy

Cecile (age 4) and Cora (eight months) Levi (age 1)

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Olga, Blog; Blog, Olga

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