He Listens to Jesus and The Mary Chain
Today, after violin lesson, I came home, and laid down on the couch. I sensed something soon, though, and raised my lids to see Vinyl (my ever-growing fat black cat) crouched straight in front of me, lying on my clean pillow.
"I have to wash this pillowcase now, Stupid!"
Stupid is the name I sometimes call him, when he makes poor life choices. He meows softly. I return my lids to their previous position. Open them, close them. He is confused. I know this. I continue in this manner, hoping he'll get up and leave, feeling my hatred. Instead, he simply hits me in the face with his, seemingly mittened, paw.
"Stupid!"
"Meow!"
Then we just lay there, staring. We stared for what seemed like hours, but really only about three minutes. Still, a long time for a cat and girl to stare hatefully at one another.
"I was here first," I say.
"Like I give a rat's ass," he says (in his cat mind).
I punch him in his cat face (in my human mind). Somehow he knows. His fat paw reaches out, and pauses, midair, threatening. I stare, hard. Eventually, he rests it on my shoulder. We're that close on the pillowcase. He looks at me with a face that says, "Let that be a lesson to you." So, in revenge, I sit here writing this to you, letting you see what evils lurk within his hateful body. He sits, a few centimeters away, reading over my shoulder (I hate that. He knows.).
"I probably won't feed you for a few days."
"Meow!"
"You eat too much anyways. You're fat."
"Take a look in the mirror lately?" He asks, suddenly speaking english, only to beat me down.
"I'm a growing girl," I say, stunned.
"Then, I'm a growing cat," he says, nonchalantly.
"At least I do yoga," I say.
He says something under his breath, chuckles softly, and continues reading. I hate him. Him and his cat breath can go to hell.
...
"You missed a comma," and blows a ring of cat breath in my eyes.
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Levi (age 1)